


Hand Holding and Baby-Steps

by roundandtalented



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Doritos and the movie Hackers are both involved, M/M, Quadrant Confusion, Quadrant Vacillation, Quality Pile Time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-10-02 04:03:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10209209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roundandtalented/pseuds/roundandtalented
Summary: Let the record show that you offered to help long before Sollux Captor was a disaster. Or, well. A disaster about this specific incident- because he's always a disaster.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Icey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icey/gifts).



> You have no idea how happy I was to get this request.

Let the record show that you offered to help long before Sollux Captor was a disaster. Or, well. A disaster about this specific incident- because he's always a disaster.

You're usually the one who brings up issues first in every relationship- quadranted or friend or whatever. You're bad at hiding things so you kind of just blurt them out and make everyone uncomfortable all of the time. Honestly you're just awful at Not Talking About Things- like your blood colour, or your crushes, or how, on the meteor, Rose used to organize your novels alphabetically rather than by quadrant like a fucking heathen- she thought you didn't notice but OH YOU SURE DID AND SHE SURE HEARD ABOUT IT....

That sort of 'bad at secrets and not talking' translates to you being very blunt with any and every elephant in the room, as well as every feeling that seems to cross your mind. Dave says you're getting better on the 'not coming off like an asshole when you don't mean to' part, but he's bias because he says he needs your bluntness.   
And mostly you do it to avoid misunderstanding and get shit out of the way.

Like Sollux's obvious struggle with his own damn feelings.

The two of you went decidedly pale, post-game. As much as he has boners for _days_ over duality, he fussed and hummed and hawed over ' _but what iif TWO diiamond2_ ', because Aradia is still in his life at least a little bit. So you rolled your eyes and smacked his shoulder and told him you didn't give a shit, if he wanted that, you were fine with it because it meant you got to keep tabs on his mess of a person.

He told you to fuck off, and then held your hand furiously for at least ten minutes to prove he wasn't about to back out of what is probably a bad idea of a pink quadrant fill.

Dave thinks it's a good idea. He thinks almost everything of what you do is a good idea. Except your dislike of BBQ sauce- he says that's stupid and a mistake. 

Your boyfriend is so damn supportive, even when he's got his own hands in the Sollux Disaster Pie. He's still human, but fuck is he trying. Just like you're still a troll but wow does human romance suit you just fine most days.  
Dave and Sollux fell into spades shortly after you and Captor confirmed you were pale. And you fucking KNOW it's because they're so similar they can pinpoint each other's flaws instantly. 

Dave's told you more than once that Sollux is everything he hated about his 13 year old self's personality, except now he's hot and better at comebacks. 

Sollux genuinely enjoys being a pain in your boyfriend's ass, but in a low key kind of way that really accentuates how lazy he is. And how petty.   
He's a shitlord. You know that. But he's _your_ shitlord. 

So when Sollux starts having what sort of appears to be an existential crisis over Dave maybe trying to help him chill out on the self depreciation and Internet Hate Machine stress... you just immediately bring up the idea of him having Dave in two quadrants.   
You know, to just, get it out there in the open for discussion.

It gets you a scandalized scoff. Then an eyebrow wiggle. And then this wide eyed stare of realization before he absolutely nopes out of the conversation. 

And _then_! Then he locks himself in his block for approximately eight hours while you assume he thinks himself in worried circles, because he's fucking on Do Not Disturb, and not answering your texts.

But Dave is spending the day with John and you are NOT about to be kept away from your moirail so easily. No one knows his stubbornness like you do and you are getting that loser in a pile tonight, no matter what.  
You’ll pull out every stop you can think of, if that's what it takes. Sollux may be stubborn but he’s not immune to your conciliatory wiles. 

So like the romantic fuckwad you are, you steal a bag of Doritos from Dave's stash, lower your bedroom lights, fluff up the pile of knit blankets and paperback Harlequin books, and go to fetch your nerd. Physically. Because he blocked you on instant messenger after the first few tries.

Sollux, like every nerd of his caliber, lives in the basement of your hive. It's this weird mix of a communal hivestem, and a bizarre, cylindrical but short tower. Everyone post-game kind of claimed a few all over the kingdoms, so there are others you visit, but this one is the one that feels the most like Home. A home with a snarky shut-in living at the very bottom. He’s like a weird sort of infestation that you’ve ended up getting fond of… But anyway, you care about him enough to actually go down to get him.

He ignores you when you knock on his door nicely. Turns his music up when you bang a little louder. So you wait til there's a lull as he switches songs, and you slump against the door with a loud thump.

“Sollux come on. Let's go pile. I fluffed it and everything." The music doesn't stay loud. “We can have a nice proper jam- about anything even. You can tell me about your gaming conquests?”

The music stops, but you don't hear the squeak of his computer chair, so he hasn’t gotten up yet.

“I have Doritos?”

There's the sound of his chair, followed by the soft papping of his bare feet on the floor as he comes to the door and cracks it open.

“What kind.”  
“Regular. I have Cool Ranch in the room, though.”  
“Thweet.” 

The door opens all the way and you realize as he slides himself out that he’s not wearing pants. Why isn’t he wearing pants? why is he like this?   
He’s in boxers and a shirt that definitely needs a good wash, but he’s at least out of his room and standing there next to you, purposely not meeting your gaze as he shifts his weight from foot to foot, obviously uncomfortable.

“Hand?” You offer yours, palm up and waiting.  
He takes it but still won't look at you, the sulky brat. He knows he’s going to get a stern talking to, but _you_ know he’s a slut for Doritos and a good pile.

Sollux towers next to you but doesn’t dare let go of your hand the whole way back to your block. Well, you and Dave’s shared block. He’s been there a few times before- mostly for piles. Dave doesn’t like to kiss and tell, but you’ve smelt him on the sheets before too so you know THATS been a thing at least a couple times. 

He lets you tug him to your blankets though, fussing minimally as the two of you settle in comfortably. He gets his bony cheek against your shoulder, long legs tucked under yours, and your hand still clutched in his fingers that he holds to his chest.

You’re both so awkward about this, neither wants to start talking first so you just, groan and go for it.

“You need to talk quadrants with Dave.”  
“Why, we’re in one.”  
You fix him with a stare and his twinned ears droop.  
“You’re really bad with just sticking to ONE of everything, Sollux. Like, I thought we established this. It’s why this-” You squeeze his hand, “Is even a thing. Because two is your thing. And you know Dave wouldn't mind-”  
“I don’t know that.”  
“ _I_ know that. Because he’s human, they blur quadrant lines constantly- hell, their romance is so messy it's nearly all the quadrants at once. Why the fuck do you think he and I work so well?”  
“You’re both obnoxious.”  
“Fuck off. I mean, true, but fuck off anyway.” He laughs, and you can’t help but smile. So much for being stern and serious. 

“But what doeth he even WANT?” Sollux asks, huffing out a big sigh. “Black, red? Pale? It feelth pale- but I already have you AND Aradia.”  
“Humans are pretty caring about everything when it comes to romance. I thought he wanted me pale at first- i think maybe we WERE pale at first? Well, ok, at first I thought he wanted me black because he’s annoying to people he likes.” You shrug and watch how it moves his head a little. “But no, it’s red. Mostly. He told me so, and I know it is.”

Sollux rolls his eyes, because yes, you’re maybe a little sappy about it all still. That’s not stopped being a thing because you’re you.  
“Yeah yeah, I know. The point is.” He’s eyeing the Doritos but no, he can’t have them until you get him actually talking about feelings. “He’s not solid on much, and very open minded to troll romance. Dave is nothing if not up for new weird shit. Trust me on that.”  
“Oh I _know_ he liketh weird shit-”  
“Captor holy fuck do not.”  
“I’m jutht thaying!! I know you already know but let'th both not pretend we don’t. Because HE DOETH.”  
“As if you aren’t at least twice as disgusting”  
“Hey now, weird and dithguthting are two different thingth. And I’m not thtupid, I know I’m groth and like groth things. No one wath thaying I wathn’t.” He gives you this look, as if he’s offended you’d assume he didn’t know he was a beacon of filth in every way, shape and form.

“You’d sit here, in a perfect pile, and discuss all the gross ways you’ve pailed MY matesprit, rather than talk about your actual feelings. Incredible. You continue to astound me with your ability to procrastinate even on things that are relevant to your wants and needs.”   
You fix him with a knowing look and he makes his best attempt at physically merging with the blankets and books to hide.   
“I’m literally holding your hand through this. The least you could do right now is explain what you’re feeling, exactly. Or WHY you’re having issues.”

Captor makes the vocal equivalent of the ‘dial up’ noise Dave showed you once. You narrow your eyes at him a little more pointedly.

“Do you ALSO feel red for Dave?”  
“Maybe.” He sucks in a breath. “Kinda. Yeah.”  
When he lets it out, his whole body seems to de-stress a little.  
“How so.” You can’t believe you’re having to hold his hand through baby-steps, but at the same time, it’s pretty much on par for Sollux and Feelings.

“He rememberth thingth I like. And he’s an ath, but he doethn’t let me get down on mythelf anymore?” He grimaces. “Maketh me feel better if he fuckth up- and even then, it’th jutht me being a little bitch, not him actually fucking up. He teatheth, but not really in a mean way?”

“Yeah, yeah i totally know what you mean.” You literally lived that when he first started flirting with you. “He’s too nice to let you fester in self hatred.”  
“EXACTLY.” Sollux groans and buries his face in the fabric of your shirt. It’s pretty adorable and you can’t keep yourself from grinning. When he pulls back he still looks frustrated but noticeably less stressed about it.   
“And i don’t think i really want two say anything to make him upthet either. It’s hard two when he’s doing shit like, checking up on me. Like, doing that thing where he pretends he’th not looking at you but he totally ith? He think’th the shades hide it but-”

You laugh.  
“They don’t.”  
“They totally don’t.”

“He’s a huge sap.” You inform him, smug. “He thinks he keeps it mostly under control- he tried when me and him were just starting out. When he was pulling the exact same shit.”  
“He’s THOFT.” Sollux grins right back at you and you decide, yeah, he’s talked enough to deserve the doritos, so you lean out of the pile a bit to grab them and hand the bag over.

“He sure fucking is. And it’s really hard to hate him like you’re supposed to when he’s being sweet.” God, do you know it is.   
“Yeah, tho bathically, that’th where I’m at. I like him and hate him but he’th awful and thweet and idk-” He actually says the letters instead of the words and GOD WHY DO YOU LIKE THIS LOSER? “I guethh i want him in both quadrantth like a dethperate fool.”  
“You are literally sermonizing to the singing crowd, Captor.”  
“I know.”

He sighs and noses at your collarbone, horns bumping at your cheek. He’s a gross brat, but at least he’s cute when he’s being affectionate. Even if he’s getting dorito crumbs in your pile.

“He’d totally be down for it, wouldn’t he.” He says this around a mouthful of chips and you laugh, swatting at him, but ended up gently swiping your thumb back and forth over his temple.  
He’s disgusting, how does he live like this.  
“Yeah, he fucking would.”   
He wiggles closer to you, lanky body nearly curling around your small round one. You’re comfortable, at least. 

Dave finds you in nearly the same position when he comes home, though you’ve had to get up a couple times to get your moirail and his endless void of a stomach a couple more bags of Doritos. And your husktop. And instead of just talking, you’re halfway through Hackers- oddly fitting, seeing as it features two nerds who start blackrom and halfway flip come the end of the movie, but whatever. Sollux loves the movie because it's a ‘ _horrible mithreprethentation of what hacking actually ith_ ’ but he ‘ _underthtandth that humanth needed to make it theem mythtical and fancy to gain any thort of interetht in a film thetting_ ’, and getting him to say ANYTHING remotely serious when analyzing a movie warms your pusher like nothing else. 

Dave hears maybe two lines from his place at the door and flash-steps over before Sollux can panic his way out of the room.

“I fucking love this movie.” He says, squatting behind both you and Captor’s heads so that he can see the screen. Your husktop is perched on your chest and you’ve probably got 8 chins just from the way your neck is bent so you can see the screen.  
Sollux opens his mouth like he’s going to either scream or try and give a witty retort but all that comes out is a distressed gurgle.

“Hey so,” You start, looking from your moirail to your matesprit. “Sollux has a very pressing question for you, Dave.” You nudge him twice, just for good measure.  
“Well I’m all ears dude.” Dave’s eyebrows raise and you smirk because you know exactly what’s coming next.   
“I’m entirely made up of at least fifty curved cartilage cones, made specifically for enhancing the hearing experience.”

Sollux’s look of disgust is priceless.

“But for real, what’s on your mind?” He lowers the shades so he can look your moirail in the eye. And that’s it. That’s him being sweet and sincere and in a way that guarantees he’s not going to tease Sollux for whatever he has to say. You KNOW what that look means and now _so does Sollux_.

“I uh. Wath wondering.” He swallows and you slap your hand at your husktop a few times before finally getting the movie to pause (You tried to be discreet, you swear…). “If maybe. You wouldn’t be two oppothed two maybe. Trying a little redder of a quad. With me.” He grimaces, realising how awkward he sounds, but doesn’t go to correct or clarify.  
But you’re literally right there, and fuck if he wouldn’t appreciate you translating for him.

“He feels like you’ve been leaning a little more red lately. And he likes it, but he’s being a little bitch about admitting it.” You offered, completely deadpan. Sollux sputters, but you place a quick, gentle pap to his cheek and his mouth shuts. “He still wants you black. But a little red too.”  
“Damn Captor, you and your twos.” Dave scoffs, and you catch him rolling his eyes behind his shades. “Of course we can give that a shot.”

Instead of what you’d expect from him, Sollux covers his face with his hand and groans.  
“Why do you two make it theem tho eathy. Just ‘THURE, EVERYTHINGTH FINE AND THITH IS NORMAL’. Do you not thee how weird thith ith?” It’s a little muffled, because palm and fingers in the way, but you both understand just fine.

“Dude, it’s not a big deal.” Dave assures him, dropping and hand down to push his fingers into your hair. You definitely lean into his touch because hell fucking yes, he’s so good at that. “I know it’s probably not normal, but, since when has anything any of us done been normal?”  
You nod and hum, too busy enjoying the drag of his nails against your scalp to talk.  
You should teach Sollux how to do this….  
Dave continues anyway, and you thankfully don’t have to stop him so you can form words.

“It’s fine if we try and it turns out fine. Like, I’m pretty sure everyone who fuckin' lived through the shit we did is maybe a little more open minded about just winging shit- because let’s be real, none of it panned out how we expected. We’re all pretty used to trying new shit at this point. So why not?”

Sollux peeks out from behind his fingers, lips pursed in thought.

“Like, man, can you imagine if I stopped every time I went ‘wow this a weird new thing’? I have touched way too many alien dicks to have ever even come close to stopping after like, the first initial What The Fuck moments way back when- on the stupid rock. You know? And you’re like, Mr. Smug Hacker Genius or whatever."  
Dave pauses, an intrusive thought obviously interrupting his explanation.

"Are those my fucking Doritos?"   
You laugh and use your spare hand to wave him off.  
"You were saying?"   
He purses his lips but _does_ continue.

"Like, have you never just went ‘fuck it, I’m gunna do this’ with some computer shit, even though you had NO idea how it was gunna pan out?”   
He’s settling into the pile behind you, but half leaned over so he’s close to Sollux as well, and you know his hand is itching to get into that greasy, unwashed Captor hair just like his other is in yours.

“Yeah, ok.” Sollux admits, sheepish, but he’s smiling. His cheeks are a little yellow and you want to kick your feet, but they’re tangled in the blanket rose knit you last Christmas. 

“So yeah. Fuck it, let’s do this.” Dave looks down at you briefly, expectantly.

You sigh.  
“Where doing it.” You start, and turn your head to look at Captor, who rolls his eyes. Yeah, he’s been with Dave long enough to have been subjected to this bullshit- he knows how this goes.  
“Where making it happen.” He finishes, and the satisfied grin Dave gives him is very worth all the hassle your nerd put you through today.


End file.
